Jamloopmit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, selfish deer.

Jamloopmit created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamloopmit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jamloopmit, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jamloopmit's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Jamloopmit's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jamloopmit.

3. Never mention aardvarks.

4. Never laugh in the presence of grasshopers.

5. Do not speak about apples.