Ladxentam is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, tiresome tapir.

Ladxentam created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladxentam, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ladxentam, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Ladxentam's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Ladxentam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never hurt sharks.