Fetmuttettilib Vadrilyim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, merciless goblin.

Fetmuttettilib Vadrilyim created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetmuttettilib Vadrilyim, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fetmuttettilib Vadrilyim, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fetmuttettilib Vadrilyim's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fetmuttettilib Vadrilyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not take Fetmuttettilib Vadrilyim's name in vain.

3. Hide if five porpoises approach from the east.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about dogs.