Tifvinmetham is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, humorless warg.

Tifvinmetham created the Black Eye Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifvinmetham, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tifvinmetham, she will laugh at you.

Tifvinmetham's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tifvinmetham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never eat bananas.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never paint your neck gray.