Sandvolyik is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless wombat.

Sandvolyik created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandvolyik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sandvolyik, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sandvolyik's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Sandvolyik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Never talk about galaxies.