Litfadven is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering hydra.

Litfadven created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Litfadven, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Litfadven, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Litfadven's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Litfadven's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles in need.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not take Litfadven's name in vain.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.