Ratrenyimwig is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous badger.

Ratrenyimwig created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratrenyimwig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ratrenyimwig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ratrenyimwig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Ratrenyimwig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Ratrenyimwig.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

3. Never jump near dogs.

4. Do not take Ratrenyimwig's name in vain.

5. Feed all hungry turtles.