Fubvagfem is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, weak penguin.

Fubvagfem created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubvagfem, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fubvagfem, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fubvagfem's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fubvagfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dogs.

2. Never paint your feet red.

3. Always look after injured eagles.

4. Hide from violet ducks for they are unholy.

5. Always help porpoises.