Bigjaping is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, annoying bird.

Bigjaping created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigjaping, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bigjaping, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bigjaping's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bigjaping's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five lead sculptures of Bigjaping on top of important buildings.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always obey Bigjaping's priests.

4. Doves are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about black holes.