Podtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unsympathetic elephant.

Podtonk created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Podtonk, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Podtonk, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Podtonk's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Podtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Podtonk must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always obey Podtonk's priests.