Zodtunlog is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, flying giraffe.

Zodtunlog created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodtunlog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zodtunlog, he will not invite you to parties.

Zodtunlog's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Zodtunlog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Zodtunlog on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.