Vogspagfig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, overgenerous warg.

Vogspagfig created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogspagfig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vogspagfig, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vogspagfig's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Vogspagfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Run away if four rats approach from the north.

5. Do not listen to music.