Parkbutlik is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, benevolent turtle.

Parkbutlik created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkbutlik, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Parkbutlik, she will boil you in a big pot.

Parkbutlik's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Parkbutlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always wear magenta.