Bifdumtad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, overgenerous whale.

Bifdumtad created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifdumtad, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bifdumtad, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bifdumtad's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bifdumtad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snakes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Run away if six nematodes approach from the north.

4. Bifdumtad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never write about gravity.