Gumbimrap is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, pitiless dragon.

Gumbimrap created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumbimrap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gumbimrap, she will turn you into a slug.

Gumbimrap's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gumbimrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Never think about cell theory.