Cudwanarm is a god.
He takes the form of a blubbery, merciless
narwhal.
Cudwanarm created tapeworms four million years ago.
If you believe in
Cudwanarm, he will give you a free planet.
If you do not believe in
Cudwanarm, he will turn you into a rat.
Cudwanarm's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.
Cudwanarm's Holy Commandments1. Do not take Cudwanarm's name in vain.
2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.
3. Never feed pineapples to hamsters while wearing brown scarves.
4. Never eat strawberries.
5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.