Labominzod Nurlrawyim Pangboging is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, almighty fox.

Labominzod Nurlrawyim Pangboging created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labominzod Nurlrawyim Pangboging, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Labominzod Nurlrawyim Pangboging, she will curse you with boils.

Labominzod Nurlrawyim Pangboging's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Labominzod Nurlrawyim Pangboging's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Retreat if six snakes approach from the east.

3. You must pray to Labominzod Nurlrawyim Pangboging five times a day.

4. Labominzod Nurlrawyim Pangboging loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about fire.