Sislantal is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, merciful wombat.

Sislantal created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Sislantal, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sislantal, she will turn you into a tree.

Sislantal's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Sislantal's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Sislantal on top of important buildings.

2. Hide from orange horses for they are unholy.

3. Never feed aubergines to foxes while wearing gray stockings.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about gravity.