Wonhimtiftif is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, awesome human.

Wonhimtiftif created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wonhimtiftif, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wonhimtiftif, it will have a low opinion of you.

Wonhimtiftif's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Wonhimtiftif's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Goats are not to be trusted.

5. Never feed figs to tapirs while wearing red boots.