Xemsafgam is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, prudent duck.

Xemsafgam created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Xemsafgam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xemsafgam, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Xemsafgam's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Xemsafgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Xemsafgam loves foxes, so they must be respected.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Xemsafgam.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.