Tafyimboss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish bear.

Tafyimboss created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tafyimboss, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tafyimboss, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tafyimboss' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tafyimboss' Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat spinach.

3. Hide if eight grasshopers approach from the south.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.