Kabnurtzim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, able dolphin.

Kabnurtzim created the Sol system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabnurtzim, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kabnurtzim, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Kabnurtzim's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Kabnurtzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from orange badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kabnurtzim.