Vagwancimhinbapdanfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, confident squid.

Vagwancimhinbapdanfarn created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Vagwancimhinbapdanfarn, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vagwancimhinbapdanfarn, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vagwancimhinbapdanfarn's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Vagwancimhinbapdanfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not eat bread.

5. Always take life seriously.