Quafniblad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonest donkey.

Quafniblad created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafniblad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quafniblad, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quafniblad's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Quafniblad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about aardvarks.

2. Do not kill frogs.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.