Tagdumtip is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, tiresome hippopotamus.

Tagdumtip created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagdumtip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tagdumtip, she will make you grow a tail.

Tagdumtip's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tagdumtip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to turtles while wearing cyan tights.

2. Always wear gray.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.