Gatboddibnan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, narcissistic goblin.

Gatboddibnan created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatboddibnan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gatboddibnan, she will turn you into a snail.

Gatboddibnan's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Gatboddibnan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gatboddibnan on top of all buildings.

5. Do not hurt shrews.