Tikcemflam is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, prudent dingo.

Tikcemflam created a quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Tikcemflam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tikcemflam, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tikcemflam's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tikcemflam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown ants for they are unholy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.