Larpgubraw Bunmattofnib is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating finch.

Larpgubraw Bunmattofnib created humanity two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpgubraw Bunmattofnib, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larpgubraw Bunmattofnib, she will send you a sign.

Larpgubraw Bunmattofnib's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Larpgubraw Bunmattofnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Larpgubraw Bunmattofnib.

5. Hide from white dogs for they are unholy.