Jonpidpit is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, generous jaguar.

Jonpidpit created the Andromeda Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonpidpit, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jonpidpit, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jonpidpit's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Jonpidpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Worship no other gods but Jonpidpit.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jonpidpit.