Looprak is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, blissful squid.

Looprak created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Looprak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Looprak, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Looprak's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Looprak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Retreat if four pigs approach from the south.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.