Tailhadpastaglagflagcablist is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful pig.

Tailhadpastaglagflagcablist created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailhadpastaglagflagcablist, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailhadpastaglagflagcablist, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tailhadpastaglagflagcablist's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tailhadpastaglagflagcablist's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Hide from pink whales for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never play with disobedient children.