Lamlogbet is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, contented bee.

Lamlogbet created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamlogbet, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lamlogbet, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Lamlogbet's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Lamlogbet's Holy Commandments

1. Lamlogbet loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must never eat coconuts.

5. Do not commit murder.