Tarbaflikcet is a god.

He takes the form of a large, proud dugong.

Tarbaflikcet created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Tarbaflikcet, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tarbaflikcet, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tarbaflikcet's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tarbaflikcet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine horses approach from the south.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.