Zagdibtif is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable whale.

Zagdibtif created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagdibtif, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zagdibtif, it will not care.

Zagdibtif's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zagdibtif's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat strawberries.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Do not dye your hair pink.

4. Run away if nine voles approach from the south.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zagdibtif.