Kabgutmon is a god.

He takes the form of a small, loving gnu.

Kabgutmon created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabgutmon, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kabgutmon, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kabgutmon's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Kabgutmon's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Do not take Kabgutmon's name in vain.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Retreat if six geese approach from the east.