Bopgembim is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unfair scorpion.

Bopgembim created the planet Saturn two years ago.

If you believe in Bopgembim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bopgembim, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Bopgembim's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bopgembim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Never feed garlic to dogs while wearing fawn shoes.

3. Bopgembim loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Never mention rats.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.