Jadquafbab is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, staggering swan.

Jadquafbab created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadquafbab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jadquafbab, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jadquafbab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jadquafbab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Do not kill cats.

5. Never wear indigo shirts.