Nartlarpveg is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, effective walrus.

Nartlarpveg created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartlarpveg, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nartlarpveg, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Nartlarpveg's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Nartlarpveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.