Gudkaphan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, self-assured bat.

Gudkaphan created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudkaphan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gudkaphan, she will not care.

Gudkaphan's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gudkaphan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Never wear brown jumpers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Do not kill cats.

5. Never mention frogs.