Lentitapp is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast squid.

Lentitapp created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lentitapp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lentitapp, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Lentitapp's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lentitapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to porpoises while wearing red coats.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Lentitapp loves mice, so they must be respected.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.