Cabhasspag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, tiresome bat.

Cabhasspag created the Milkyway nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabhasspag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cabhasspag, it will throw large rocks at you.

Cabhasspag's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Cabhasspag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cabhasspag.

2. Retreat if eight badgers approach from the south.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.