Bifbarnjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, quiet ferret.

Bifbarnjarn created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifbarnjarn, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bifbarnjarn, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bifbarnjarn's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Bifbarnjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help snails.

3. Never sit near great tits.

4. Never think ill of sick sheep.

5. Always wear indigo.