Kanjapdav is a god.

He takes the form of a small, blissful human.

Kanjapdav created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanjapdav, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kanjapdav, he will not invite you to parties.

Kanjapdav's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kanjapdav's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kanjapdav.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not kill ducks.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.