Wittailbunpark is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, confident mole.

Wittailbunpark created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Wittailbunpark, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wittailbunpark, she will throw large rocks at you.

Wittailbunpark's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Wittailbunpark's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wittailbunpark.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.