Tifhitbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, omnipotent jackal.

Tifhitbarn created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifhitbarn, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tifhitbarn, she will turn you into a mole.

Tifhitbarn's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tifhitbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. You must love Tifhitbarn.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Fast once a month.