Kinhunspagtun is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful seal.

Kinhunspagtun created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinhunspagtun, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kinhunspagtun, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kinhunspagtun's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Kinhunspagtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Kinhunspagtun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. You must never eat tomatoes.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.