Jandanbag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless rat.

Jandanbag created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jandanbag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jandanbag, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jandanbag's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Jandanbag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.