Tifbonhom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, proud gerbil.

Tifbonhom created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Tifbonhom, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tifbonhom, she will torture you forever.

Tifbonhom's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tifbonhom's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tifbonhom.

2. Always obey Tifbonhom's priests.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Tifbonhom on top of all buildings.

5. Never eat bark.