Hogquagsaksandpin Fitsinkip is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, humorless horse.

Hogquagsaksandpin Fitsinkip created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogquagsaksandpin Fitsinkip, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hogquagsaksandpin Fitsinkip, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Hogquagsaksandpin Fitsinkip's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Hogquagsaksandpin Fitsinkip's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never wear mauve shirts.

5. Always help tapirs in need.