Arpbellbell is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent troll.

Arpbellbell created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpbellbell, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Arpbellbell, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Arpbellbell's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Arpbellbell's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six sharks approach from the west.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Worship no other gods but Arpbellbell.

5. Never hurt capybaras.